.freezer meals.

Today in a fit of ambition, I made tons and tons {okay, more like gallons} of chicken broth.  We’re talking primo broth:  beautiful, petite, whole chickens, organically grown carrots, GMO-free celery, local sage…it’s the broth that Ina Garten dreams of when Jeffery’s gone {which, let’s face it–he’s always gone}.  

While my second batch of broth bubbled away merrily on the stove, I bleached out my refrigerator.  I’m actually that 1% of the population that bleaches my fridge out every week.  I pull all the bottles and jars out and Clorox everything.  I know.  It’s anal to the highest possible degree.  Don’t be like me.

As this post is entitled freezer meals, it should be obvious that the broth was meant for my freezer {which I also cleaned out with lots of bleach}.  I like to freeze my broth in gallon-sized freezer bags by laying them flat on cookie sheets.  It’s easy to organize in my deep freeze and thawing is a snap.  See?  I told you I am anal.

Anyways…I digress.  I placed my second batch of broth {two gallons!} into the freezer and made my way back to my couch for yet another episode of Grey’s Anatomy {I know.  Don’t be like me}.  Maybe twenty minutes into Meredith Grey’s incredibly difficult personal life, Mr. C began screaming like a maniac, “No, no, no!  Please God, NO!”

I assumed my dog was chewing his on leg off or the cats had knocked the bowl of black beans I’d been soaking all day off the counter.  Nope…it was just a one gallon bag of full-fat chicken broth leaking from my freshly bleached freezer into my freshly bleached refrigerator.  And when I say leak, I mean full-on deluge.  Cool, greasy, primo brothy goodness just puddling into my refrigerator drawers.  And pouring on the lids of my takeaway Chinese leftovers.  And pooling on my floor.  It’s not raining men, folks, it’s raining broth.

Don’t be like me.

Don’t stack Target brand gallon-sized freezer bags in the freezer.  Don’t carelessly seal said Target brand gallon-sized freezer bags before placing them in the freezer.  *On a side note, I only bought those dang Target brand gallon-sized freezer bags because the box says they’re free of BPA.  I don’t really even know what it means, but whatever.

My first inclination was to curl up in a fetal position and die.  My dog was licking primo broth off the floor and that fresh bleach smell was now masked by the rich, luxurious scent of sage.  And it’s what I do when something really tragic happens.  I avoid, avoid, avoid and shove it all down until it goes away.  I’ll probably have a stroke one day because I live under this giant banner of avoidance, and I’m working on that.  I began to assume the fetal position when Josh grabbed a fresh roll of paper towels and began mopping up the mess.  “It’s not so bad, see?” he kept saying.

“Josh, that chicken broth is like the tears of the Barefoot Contessa!” I cried.

“Yeah, and we’ve got two other gallons of it in the freezer, babe.” he replied.

Don’t be like me.  Be like Mr. C.

In the face of undeniable tragedy {the Divine Chicken Broth Deluge of 2014}, just grab a roll of paper towels and start mopping up the mess.  Assuming the fetal position feels good, but having a clean refrigerator 15 minutes after a near fatal disaster {Hurricane Broth, Category 5} is way nicer.  Because it literally took 15 minutes to clean up.  Josh was like FEMA, except without the bureaucrats.  It was magnificent.  

True love and all the hearts and flowers…it’s all well and good.  I like it just as much as the next girl.  But a real partnership where one partner cancels out all the dark and twisty parts of the other?  That’s real love.  That’s the good stuff.  To all those single folks out there, wait for the one who balances all the icky parts of you that need some work.  And make sure you balance out the icky parts of them that need fixing.  In Proverbs it says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  Make sure that the person you’re devoting your life to can sharpen all the dull parts of you.

Isn’t it funny how a gallon of chicken broth can bring on a paradigm shift?  Life, right?

I’m off to remove two more gallons of chicken broth from the stove.  Ina and Jeffery…eat your hearts out.



P.S.  Here’s my primo chicken broth recipe.



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